October’s Mom of the Month
Allison Lefebvre is a mom to a 3 year old son, a 1.5 year old son, with a third son on the way. Allison’s second son was born with Spina Bifida and has lived with complex complications that require 24/7 care. She recently learned her third son will be born with the same birth defect and has opted to have fetal surgery on him before he is born to save his life. Day to day life is not normal for this mommy of 3 but she chooses to be as normal as possible and see the beauty and joy in every day. Allison believes her children have made her more appreciative, stronger and has given her an even better sense of humor. Allison blogs about their journey at www.miraclesformiles.blogspot.com.
MM: What’s the best thing about being a mom?
AL: The best thing about being a mom is the simple pleasures. Instead of setting high expectations for my sons in the future, I try to enjoy them in the moment we are in. This could mean snuggling all day and watching their favorite movies, kissing them a million times while they still let me, pretending to be their favorite dinosaur or letting them sleep in our bed. I don’t try to rush the future because it will come soon enough. Nothing is better than knowing I am their best friend and that they need my constant love and attention. It’s an honor to be a mommy.
MM: What have you learned about yourself after becoming a mom?
AL: After becoming a mom I have learned that I’m not a very structured person. Some moms can’t stray from their list or miss a nap time but I’m the opposite. I like to have flexibility in my day so if my kids need me more, I am available to them. Or if a friend needs me to drop everything and be there for them, I can make it possible. Instead of being tied to a regiment, I see what is needed of me that day and tend to it. Of course some days are full of appointments and play dates, but I absolutely adore the days where we let our creativity flow and figure it out as we go. I definitely need open space on my calendar.
MM: What’s the best advice you can share with other mamas?
AL: A few years ago I started an event company for moms and moms-to-be called AZ Momtourage. The motto was “Moms Are Better Together.” I believe in that motto now more than ever. Since two of my three sons have disabling and life threatening birth defects, I have learned how to lean on my community of mothers. My family has accepted so much love and support over the last couple years. It has taught me to always be in the front lines of offering help when it is needed. I want to be the first person to bring a meal to comfort a friend, or the first to throw their shower to celebrate them. And it is important to know how to accept help too. As moms, we all hit a point where we just can’t do it alone. Your strongest moment is admitting that you need your community of moms to step in and be your village. It’s the best feeling in the world to give and receive love.